WOMEN, POLYGAMY AND ISLAM
By Sadiq Mustapha Bindawa
A true life story:
I never thought of how serious the prevalence level of bitter hatred amongst most of the marriage partners in polygamy till I come across to a particular event recently at Bauchi state’s Motor Park.
Actually I might say, I do felt among those people in the world who play life safe. But if I may to achieve the future intention and perception on marrying more than one wife, I may have to buckle down and do some serious extra-skilled full consultations to achieves long lasting peace and hormonal atmosphere in our marriage which optimistically to be the fertile ground for planting effective family.
God is so kind, a week before a crossing such encounter, I and a friend Gidado Abu Aminu discussed little bit about a lead to cat and dog’s life between the polygamous married wives which had constantly became a consistent in our society. We shared numerous ideas, challenges and experiences amongst ourselves, even though we happened to have little bit of understandings of the situation because both of us to were raised by a nuclear family. At the beginning of the argument I decided to play devil’s advocate just to see how strongly people felt about the circumstances of polygamy. And Alhamdulillah at the end I learned much of it from people’s experience, but yet to conclude!
Back to the track, my journey to the motor park begins at exactly 6:30am on one faithful Saturday last year during my NYSC service year. The idea of the earliness is to reach my destination (Kaduna) on time such that I could have more ample time to cover up my pending schedules for the rest of the day. Reaching the park as stipulated time, I was so lucky to booked a car inside which a lady (Married) was in and I being the second passenger. After a couple silence of about 20minutes which initially my thought she is deaf, suddenly someone shouted from close range in hausa “Allah yasa wadda batada kishiya ayi mata” Meaning that “May Allah give chance to husbands to marry more wives’’. Unexpectedly, the lady at my disposal responded loudly “Allah ma bazai bashi kudin ba” Meaning that “May Allah denied him (her husband) the enrichment’’. However, she prepares leaving with eternal poverty than her husband to add wife. WHAT AN IRONY!!! Perhaps, I was shocked real one nodded my head and offered her a worm’s eye view of the situation. That really cleared the doubt in me.
It is a pity such atrocities are still so intense in most women which cannot be overcome at the early twelfth hour that at times takes some to extra miles of killings and or casting a spell over the husband, her partner in marriage or harming their hitch-free children just as the unfortunate event happened recently in Kano and Niger state.
Nevertheless, the religious teachers should be the key actors to play a major role in finding everlasting solutions to these calamities. The benefits of polygamy in Islam must be introduced in to the Islamiyyas, higher secondary schools, and in both Islamic institution’s curriculums just as many subjects are; these may help in nurturing better understanding to the circumstances to young children all as a means of achieving everlasting solutions to marital disputes in our society.
Lastly, I prayed may Almighty Allah protect, guide and grant us better understandings to the sunnah of our beloved prophet (S.A.W). Aamin