Despite being in the 21st century, men are still ignorant about women. Although the general belief is that women are complicated and difficult to understand, it is expected that men should know these facts by now. Hence, for the good of mankind, I have decided to write this post.
Fact 1: Women have dreams they aspire to
One would think that men would know. But alas, many men do not.
Although many women want to marry and have children, that is not all they aspire to do. Women also have ambitions to be great people and do great things. It is a pity that society still believes that a woman’s goal should be marriage and her dream should be her husband’s. A woman who has had an aspiration for a long time is expected to automatically change it to her husband’s once she is married. Why? If a woman should support her husband in achieving his dreams, why shouldn’t a husband do the same?
Billions of potential greats have been relegated to being just wives and mothers, when they could have been so much more. Men need to realize that when they marry, they have gained a partner and not a new employee. An employee is someone who works to make you great. But as partners, you work to make both of yourselves great.
And by the way, the notion of “I don’t want my wife to work, I will rather pay her every month, so she can be a housewife” stems from the false idea that women want to work just because of money. This is not true. Women also want to experience life. They also want to have stories to tell you about work. They also want to work for what they get. They want to be able feel the joy of using their hard earned money to buy things for those they love. They want to do what they love. They want to achieve their dreams. Let them.
I know women whose dreams are to marry and have children, and I am happy for them. But there are many more women who want to be more. Do not let the intelligence, skills and talents that God has given them go to waste. Let them utilize it and feel that sense of pride you feel when you utilize yours.
Fact 2: A woman is not always at fault
We live in a society where the man is always right. Hence, the woman has to beg for forgiveness even when he is clearly in the wrong. This is supposedly the way to save a marriage. Why? Why can’t a man try to save his marriage too? Why does that responsibility fall to the woman alone? A marriage consists of two people and it is the responsibility of those two people to save it.
If a man is unfaithful, society points accusing fingers at the wife. They say, “Why didn’t she lose weight after her pregnancy?” “Maybe she always nags.” “She no longer takes care of herself after having kids.” “Her food never tasted great” “She should have been a better wife.” “It is her fault.”
Nobody blames the man. Nobody asks him why he didn’t fix what was wrong with his marriage. Because the responsibility of a happy marriage always lies with the woman.
If a man realizes his wife has no time to take care of herself after having children, he can fix the problem. He simply has to say, “Wife, I realize that you have been devoting all your time to the family. Today, I want you to devote time to yourself. You are also important. I will look after the kids. Go pamper yourself. Go shopping. Go fix your hair.” Is that so difficult to do?
Instead of looking for flimsy excuses to cheat, why don’t you tell your wife there is a problem, so both of you can fix it. Marriage is a partnership. It is your responsibility to fix it together. Stop blaming your wife. You are at fault too.
Fact 3: A woman gets tired too
I think men really do not realize that women can get tired. Well, let me debunk the myth. Women are also made of muscles and bones just like men. These muscles and bones can be overused, hence it is a scientific fact that women can get tired. A man will come back home at 10pm, wake his wife up and tell her to prepare fried chicken. And no, I am not exaggerating. If she says she is tired, he asks “But what have you been doing all day?” Well, how about cooking and cleaning and taking care of the kids, and cleaning after the kids and cooking and cleaning and putting the kids to bed. And for those who work, how about working and coming home to cook and clean and take care of the kids and put them to bed. It is not easy. And if you think, “Well, if women do not work and just stay at home, they will not get tired”, then please refer to fact 1.
At least the man can help to relieve the burden by doing some chores too. Marriage is a partnership, you know. And if you do not want to help. Then please acknowledge them. Tell them “well done”. “You have tried.” Tell them “thank you.” Tell them, “Darling, come and rest, I can see you are tired.” Because they get tired too.
Women are also human beings. If you can feel something, they can feel it too. If you can think something, they can think it too. If you can be something, they can be it too. Women should not be treated as objects, slaves, baby making machines or punching bags. But as women. Because they are human beings.
With these few points of mine, I hope women have been better understood. Thank you.